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My Sufficiency is in Whom?


For nearly 40 years of marriage I have watched other couples begin the wonderful journey of marriage only to fall prey to a misplaced desire to be completed by that other person’s relationship or approval or need. We are not completed in married; rather, we become twice in need to become whole and sufficient, because now we have a partner in need too.

Like a love story without a great love or a wick lantern without oil, we are missing a key element, that which brings life and light and warmth and meaning, those thing which are woefully in short supply. We need to know we can never be complete or whole on our own.

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Why? We were created by God to “need” a relationship with Him; we cannot be whole without His love and interaction.  God is that missing piece to our puzzle of life.

When we find our sufficiency through a relationship with another person we become akin to an oil-lamp with a wick but no oil. Our sense of completeness burns bright and hot for a short while but before long it simply burns out, sorrowfully leaving us wanting.  This is because our need is greater than simple physical need and without the Spirit of God (the oil) fueling our sufficiency we cannot maintain a true state of completeness or wholeness.  Like the lamp, we are lacking the key element which makes it possible to perpetuate the burn of love, joy, peace, life in its fullest measure.  We are not designed to be whole without a relationship with our Creator.   Such is the nature of our human soul.

We are not, cannot find OUR sufficiency through another person. Sufficiency must come from within us, in our soul as we discover who we are or should be in Christ Jesus.

Once we have found our place in Him and learned to trust the Lord in every way we can soar into any area of life and be happy, complete, fulfilled, content and challenged.

If by some turn of circumstance we feel as though we have found such fullness through the eyes of another then sadly, before long, that sufficiency will diminish as life reveals us and them woefully inadequate to be someone else’s insufficiency outside of a relationship with Christ.

Now… Should you and your spouse both have a relationship with Jesus, then POW, what a life changer that can be.

The Hand of God shaping and moving each of your lives as you commit your hearts to Him and His will.   The places God can and will take a couple that commits to Him and develops a genuine relationship with their God placing Christ first, your spouse second and everything else somewhere down in the lineup, wow!

There is no limit to the amazing things God can and most likely will do with such a couple. I can only speak for my wife and I… we are impacting the world as God uses us to fulfill His will.

Imagine what could God could do in your lives to impact the world?

(We’ve Only Just Begun https://youtu.be/__VQX2Xn7tI  by the Carpenters)


By the way, I’ve yet to see a marriage that does not have its ups and downs, good and bad elements. After all “Marriage” is the joining of two disparate individuals with unequaled skills, different motivation and expectations in nearly everything.  For these reasons and many more marriages have tremendous difficulty “EVEN WHEN” both individuals truly love, honor and respect one another and the Lord.

Okay guys and gals… The Lord bless you!